on Wedding planning
> Decide how you want your wedding to FEEL before you decide on a single detail. It will help you make decisions and prioritize what actually matters to you and what isn't worth it.
> Gather up every article, blog post, website and book that talks about how fun it is to plan a wedding...and set the whole pile on fire. (Proverbially. Don't actually set your laptop on fire.) Weddings? Fun. Love? Fun. Planning? Not fun. There are a few fun parts, but in truth, wedding planning is mostly like being middle management; a lot of phone calls, budgets, decisions, meetings and spreadsheets.
> You WILL find yourselves stressed out about stupid things at some point. Just try to keep perspective, and remember that liking or hating the planning of a big-ass event has nothing to do with the strength of your relationship or the joys that you'll get from marriage.
> Remember that it's just one day. It doesn't have to be everything to everyone. That's too much pressure to put on a single day of your lives. You have a lifetime together to do All The Things. It just has to have meaning to you, and feel authentic. That's it. Meaningful. Authentic. You can do that!
On choosing your Photographer
> Find a photographer whose work and point of view makes your heart sing. We make your memories. The day will fly by, and when you look back on it, it's your images that will bring it all back.
> Pick a person that you love, who makes you feel amazing and doesn't feel like a stranger. Because we're close to you - literally - in the most intimate and emotional moments of your day. And we're with you for more of that day than anyone else. Yikes.
> If money's so tight that you can't afford a photographer you love, spend your budget on a digital camera and a class for a friend or relative instead. That person's gonna take the best photos they possibly can because they love you, and then you can keep the camera.
on your first year of marriage
If we work together, we'll get to this in-depth. But in case we don't work together, I'll just leave you with this:
> If you have unexpected fights, don't panic. It doesn't mean you made a mistake.
> If you have fights about unexpected things, don't panic. It doesn't mean you made a mistake.
> Don't panic. Welcome. The first challenge of marriage is being married. This too shall pass.
> If you DON'T fight... You're magic. The rest of us are just muggles down here.
> Catalyst Wedding Company: Tired of every wedding website featuring clones of the same slender-but-athletic, straight, white, gender-conforming, physically-abled, racially-matched couple? Catalyst is your go-to. They brand themselves as a disruptive voice in the wedding industry, and that's exactly what they are.
> A Practical Wedding: Sometimes it can feel like this whole damn industry is trying to rip you off. Don't trust sites like The Knot and Wedding Wire, which are money generating machines. APW is genuinely here to advocate for you - as a couple - and support you in the journey to make things work the way you want. Ideas, articles and empathy. They also carefully screen vendors to make sure that we're not *ssholes.
> Rainbow Wedding Network: Unlike the jerks over at the bigger corporate wedding sites (who only saw dollar signs when The Supremes finally ruled on same-sex marriage - I know, because I got the emails), Rainbow Wedding Network is a grassroots network that's been run by a lesbian couple for nearly two decades. They've been advocating and celebrating the LGBTQ community for a long time, and I promise that you have a value way greater than money to them.
> Looking for specific local resources? I'd be delighted to talk with you and see if I can help. Just get in touch!